What is an emotional miser?

Emotional miser 1

If you have the impression that your partner is cold, distant and never reveals his or her feelings, you might be living with an emotional miser.

No small touches, tenderness, or gifts… Your partner seems to avoid expressing his or her feelings even in the most opportune occasions, he or she might be an emotional miser, a person who can not express his or her feelings for fear of losing his or her identity.

The emotional miser may be a man or a woman who has difficulty opening up to others in a general way. He or she often presents him- or herself with a form of disdain or indifference and fails to convey his or her feelings to the people he or she loves.

Yet this emotional coldness actually hides a hypersensitivity that boils strongly in the inside. It is for the emotional miser to protect him- or herself from his or her own emotions so as not to be invaded and especially lose face.

The emotional miser is so afraid of being overwhelmed by his or her emotions and losing control, that he or she prefers to deprive himself or herself of the benefits of attention by behaving in a cold and distant way.

Emotional misers is afraid to engage in a relationship and prefers to exchange as little emotionally as possible to guard against eventual separation and possible grief.

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Emotional misers are focused on their own emotions and feel vulnerable to others. To help them, it is important not to put them in situations they do not control. It is best not to force them to testify to their feelings, especially in public, or to reproach them.

Do not hesitate to show them what the attentions and tender gestures you expect from them look like.

Perhaps they have not had much affection in the course of their life and they don’t not know how to give it back.

Do not hesitate to use patience to help them gain confidence in themselves and others gradually to fight against their visceral fear of being disappointed or abandoned.

Shakes Gilles

Editor of The Talking Democrat. He enjoys bike riding, kayaking and playing soccer. On a slow weekend, you'll find him with a book by the lake.